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Grumpier Old Men

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 Post subject: BBQ'er of the Year 2008
PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 12:32 pm 
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Would you believe that there is a BBQ'er of the year award in August every year.?

Well all I can say is I bet it will be a bloke. Probably not an Ainsley or a Jamie but definitely not a Delia or a Nigella.

Any suggestions why it's a male domain?

All I know is that I actively seek the role and get quite grumpy when any female tries to get involved. I even pre microwave the bangers and chicken myself just avoid the possibilty of getting blamed for anyone's dicky tummy.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 12:39 pm 
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because we're stupid enough to do it?

To be fair Mrs OS does all the associated food and I take the meaty stuff to the verge of being indistiguishable from charcoal. This year I shocked everyone as it was all edible (and no one was ill)

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 1:01 pm 
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I rather suspect that it's a cave man 'thing' and can be traced back to mamoth hunts. Do not try saying this if you have already had a pint or two!
The fact that it is a mode of cooking whereby one can have a hand free for a glass of beer or that tongs turn you on has nothing whatsoever to do with it.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 1:33 pm 
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Other Steve wrote:
I take the meaty stuff to the verge of being indistiguishable from charcoal. This year I shocked everyone as it was all edible (and no one was ill)



I love BBQ food, not the burnt crap found at most home BBQ atempts, I was shown how to cook it years ago in Cyprus by an old man from the Armou village. you light it at least an hour before cooking starts and let it die down to a glow, it's no good trying to cook the food it as soon at the things lit with flames everywhere, if it starts to burn raise the food grid higher and cook it slowly.

For home use a gas BBQ is best as you can control it far easier, but you can't beat the charcoal BBQ for the taste.

Twice a year I have a family BBQ here and invite all our friend up from the village, they all leave as pissed as rats and well fed.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 4:10 pm 
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Miss Construed wrote:
I rather suspect that it's a cave man 'thing' and can be traced back to mamoth hunts. Do not try saying this if you have already had a pint or two!
The fact that it is a mode of cooking whereby one can have a hand free for a glass of beer or that tongs turn you on has nothing whatsoever to do with it.
:lol: You're probably close to the mark with the caveman thingy, but it's hardly likely that he used tongs or drank beer or wine.

He probably did the meat burning because Mrs Cavewoman was even more backward and inept than him, which resulted in her burning herself too often, rendering her unable to satisfy his carnal cravings and even more hopeless at changing the baby's Pampers nappy, which is a chore that he would never consider.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 4:29 pm 
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Elvis wrote:
Miss Construed wrote:
I rather suspect that it's a cave man 'thing' and can be traced back to mamoth hunts. Do not try saying this if you have already had a pint or two!
The fact that it is a mode of cooking whereby one can have a hand free for a glass of beer or that tongs turn you on has nothing whatsoever to do with it.

:lol: You're probably close to the mark with the caveman thingy, but it's hardly likely that he used tongs or drank beer or wine. I concede the tongs point but would imagine that sticks or similar were used. He probably did the meat burning because Mrs Cavewoman was even more backward and inept than him, which resulted in her burning herself too often, rendering her unable to satisfy his carnal cravings and even more hopeless at changing the baby's Pampers nappy, which is a chore that he would never consider.


As Mrs Cavewoman was so busy burning herself should that not be charnel cravings? :wink:

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 4:34 pm 
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Jethro wrote:
Other Steve wrote:
I take the meaty stuff to the verge of being indistiguishable from charcoal. This year I shocked everyone as it was all edible (and no one was ill)


you light it at least an hour before cooking starts and let it die down to a glow, it's no good trying to cook the food it as soon at the things lit with flames everywhere, if it starts to burn raise the food grid higher and cook it slowly.


Yep, I agree. Any dolt thinks he can cook on a barbeque whereas few actually know how to do it.

I allow an hour and a quarter after I've lit it before I attempt cooking. Wasted time? Certainly not. It gets very warm tending the coals and quenching the thirst is managed during this period. * hic ! * :D

ps thanks for the invite Jethro.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 5:10 pm 
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Light Barbecue

2 tins of Lager or
1/2 bottle of red wine.

Start cooking.

Mix up tomato sauce, mustard, honey and soy sauce.
any reasonable ratio seems to work when spread over the meat before cooking.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 5:16 pm 
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All BBQ food should be cooked slowly from its raw state and anyone who thinks it needs time in the microwave first, is either too young, a pussy or doesn't have a clue about how to BBQ.
Befriend a Greek or Greek Cypriot family and learn the art.

A new bagged charcoal briquette thingy arrived here a few years ago, light the bag and start cooking 20 minutes later.
The Spanish still prefer to burn a good wood to cook their meat on, almond and vine are the best in this area.

Try Souvla on a spit, very slowly cooked over charcoal, it's indescribably yummy, but get the right cut of lamb and use the correct marinade!

NB: Gas barbecues are fine, but only if you can do without the true taste.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 7:31 pm 
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BBQers should be roasted on their own BBQ for crass stupidity and services to antisocial-ness. :evil:
Why do cretins annoy their neighbors by cooking outside on antiquated monstrosities when they have state of the art cookers, microwaves, grills etc indoors? :roll:

Bastards!

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 7:53 pm 
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Elvis wrote:
All BBQ food should be cooked slowly from its raw state and anyone who thinks it needs time in the microwave first, is either too young, a pussy or doesn't have a clue about how to BBQ.
Befriend a Greek or Greek Cypriot family and learn the art.

A new bagged charcoal briquette thingy arrived here a few years ago, light the bag and start cooking 20 minutes later.
The Spanish still prefer to burn a good wood to cook their meat on, almond and vine are the best in this area.

Try Souvla on a spit, very slowly cooked over charcoal, it's indescribably yummy, but get the right cut of lamb and use the correct marinade!

NB: Gas barbecues are fine, but only if you can do without the true taste.


The instances of food poisoning in the summer tends to confrim that most do not do enough BBQing in the crap British weather to know how do to it properly but spendning three hours sodding arround is far too much for me.

I guess the Greeks have it sussed eh Elvis, shame they can't do much else right nowadays I visited a series of "health" facilities there a few years ago, all I can say I wouldn't advise anyone getting sick there and before you spout on about MRSA at me just don't even think about it ,in Greece the health facilities are so poor even MRSA can't survive in their so called hospitals.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 8:01 pm 
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I wouldn't dream of comparing Greece to the UK, because I very little about Greece.
Most of the Greeks I know are Cypriot.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 1:24 pm 
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I've been to a fair few and only rarely is the food any good. Men ,apart from the TV ones mostly can't cook. That is a fact. They like to get in front of their BBQ [gas -ugh] and put stuff on , cook it to death or nearly raw in the case of chicken , and make you eat three bangers ,a big steak,chicken breasts ,lamb chops and lots of meat and veg on a stick.
They will smile proudly as if you were on the deck of their latest cruiser and regale you on how they lit the bloody thing ,how they only use certain types of charcoal, how long and what's in the bleeding marinade and help yourself to wine or beer please .
The best ones are where the wife has done all the preparation, bought the food ,marinated it and brought it out for silly balls to cook. He by now is pissed as a frog ,burns it to hell or the opposite and gets upset if you dont consume the equivalent of 2 weeks food in one go.

The last one is me of course.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 2:00 pm 
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Steve wrote:
I even pre microwave the bangers and chicken myself


Jesus wept... :x


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 2:44 pm 
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two things-
one.
having just come back from cyprus, thanks for rubbing it in that my holiday has ended! the food where we stayed was superb, and the BBQ night was one of the highlights.
two.
i'm hungry now!


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