Grumpier Old Men

Ring, ring. (No expense spared on the sound effects)
"Hello is that Rob?" (For Rob is indeed my name)
"Yeessss" (suspisciously)
"How are you today?"
"Is that bloody Unicom?"
"Yes"
"Well bugger off then"
SLAM
.
.
.
.
.
Ring, ring
"Hello Rob?"
"What part of "bugger off" didn't you understand?"
SLAM

These bloody calls come in waves. No doubt there will be a dozen more before the end of the week, because they don't take no for an answer. In fact they don't take ""First Noel" off you miserable twat, go and get yourself a proper job" for an answer either.

I'm working on more amusing ways of pissing them off, rather than the blunt approach above.

Tell the one-horned animal freaks to go shizzle their grizzle back to Dungeons and Dragons where they belong!

Oh, UniCOM????!?!?

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One thing I'd really hate...is to have a nail banged through the back of my neck.

Bit Confused. What is unicom ?
Thought it was common frequency used by pilots around non-ATCairfields in america ?

Please elucidate

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GCHQ- The only part of Government that listens.

I had a couple of similar calls last week from Florida, "Hello you have won a magical holiday in Orlando ......................".

Having not a lot to do, I decided to indulge one, and let her speil for about 30 minutes. When it got to the point where she asked for my credit card details, I asked "Is this call being recorded?" and when she replied in the affirmative, I let rip, mentioning my dislike of Florida, cold calling, switch selling, cruise ships, American food, time shares, holiday points systems et al. Hopefully, I will be deleted from the database.

Cold calling is an abomination, an intrusion, and an invitation to rip off the customer. It is a sales approach which cynically exploits those who are most vulnerable in surroundings in which they feel most secure, their homes.

Those engaged in it should be given no consideration. They should be ruthlesslessly hounded, intimidated and harassed until those employing them realise that such sales techniques are totally unacceptable.

They are a telecoms company. There's loads of them about, but I'm convinced they're all connected to John "the F word" Cauldwell.

I'm happy with BT. I just don't get any problems with them. Their only downside is their automatic switchboard.

Its the cold callers who start up with the matey chat line "How are you today?" that piss me off. I'm absolutely fine most days until someone like this rings me up. Then they'll put me in a foul mood.

I get it. This kind of thing is much worse in the US. My inlaws and my brother over there won't answer their home phones between 4.30 and 7.30pm and wait for the answerphone to kick in. Cold calling sucks- but what else can you do if you are a "resting" actor (Which 80%).

Which brings me to another grump. They are not resting, they are unemployed.

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GCHQ- The only part of Government that listens.

The correct reply is: "Very well thank you, and I will not allow you to alter that state" CLICK

My parents in the UK used to get zillions of sales calls early evening, double glazing, energy, telecoms, etc. I registered them with the Telephone Preference Service and 99% of the calls stopped within a month.

I guess they can’t stop calls from Florida but it definitely worked with the UK calls.

Worth a try.

http://www.tpsonline.org.uk/tps/

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What is this shite?
© Kiljoy Products 2006/7

Tell them you are registered under the Telephone Preference Service (TPS) and that if they call again you will take their details and forward the complaint.

Or, register:

www.tpsonline.org.uk

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Oh, 'happy'. Yes, I remember that!

I registered with TSP a little while ago and it works a treat.

Now all I need is a way of stopping the recorded message calls that promise the earth if you just ring them back.

They confuse the sprogs no end when they dash to answer the phone.

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I didn't know you cared

What we seem to be plagued with round my way is this:

phone rings
pick it up
say hello
silence
say hello again
more silence
chompy on the other end finishes previous auto-dialled cold-call at last then gets round to me.
So you have a cold-call - already annoying - plus the additional irritation of being kept waiting by someone ringing me. This is not going to make me feel warmly towards the person now trying to sell me something.
These days, if I pick up the phone and don't get a greeting right back I hang up.
And why do the barstewards always ring while I'm eating? Aaarrgghhh!

I thought it was a post about me !

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Things may come and things may go but the art school dance goes on for ever