/* AUTHOR: UUconstruct */
/* Creation date: 10/10/04 */
var putdowns = new Array("His ignorance is encyclopaedic",
"Don't be so humble, you're not that great",
"I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.",
"Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.",
"The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. ",
"I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. ",
"Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. ",
"I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care. ",
"I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. ",
"What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? ",
"I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. ",
"I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth. ",
"I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. ",
"It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. ",
"Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. ",
"No, my powers can only be used for good. ",
"How about never? Is never good for you? ",
"I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me. ",
"You sound reasonable ... Time to up my medication. ",
"Ill try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. ",
"I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message ... ",
"I don't work here. I'm a consultant. ",
"It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.",
"At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits. ",
"You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. ",
"I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. ",
"Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.",
"A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.",
"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.",
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.",
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about.",
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.",
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.",
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.",
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.",
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.",
"He had delusions of adequacy.",
"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.",
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.",
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.",
"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.",
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.",
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.",
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?",
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.",
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.",
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.",
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music.",
"We've been through so much together, and most of it was your fault.",
"Why are we honouring this man? Have we run out of human beings?",
"You're a parasite for sore eyes.",
"Some people stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.",
"Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.",
"I'll bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork.",
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.",
"You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.",
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.",
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.",
"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.",
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.",
"I never liked him and I always will.",
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.",
"I regard you with an indifference bordering on aversion.",
"I thought men like that shot themselves.",
"I am completely unspoiled by failure.",
"I am liked, but not well liked.",
"I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest.",
"Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.",
"Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.",
"Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.",
"Fine words! I wonder where you stole them.",
"You have a good and kind soul. It just doesn't match the rest of you.",
"Some folks are wise and some are otherwise.",
"Be careful when reading health books; you may die of a misprint.",
"Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee later than others.",
"The greatest thing since they reinvented unsliced bread.",
"Time wounds all heels.",
"He never was really charming till he died.",
"He not only expects the worst, but makes the worst of it when it happens.",
"Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.",
"Ordinarily he is insane. But he has lucid moments when he is only stupid.",
"Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?",
"He's so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code.",
"He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.",
"I will always love the false image I had of you.",
"He was one of the nicest old ladies I ever met.",
"He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.",
"He was trying to save both his faces.",
"Being attacked by him is like being savaged by a dead sheep.",
"Failure has gone to his head.",
"He had delusions of adequacy.",
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.",
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.",
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator.",
"He is as good as his word - and his word is no good.",
"He was about as useful in a crisis as a sheep.",
"He was as great as a man can be without morality.",
"He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.",
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about.",
"He had a winning smile, but everything else was a loser.",
"He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of its own.",
"He strains his conversation through a cigar.",
"He's a trellis for varicose veins.",
"He'd make a lovely corpse.",
"I don't recognise you - I've changed a lot.",
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.",
"She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.",
"Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.",
"Outside every thin girl is a fat man, trying to get in.",
"Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.",
"A brain of feathers, and a heart of lead.",
"A mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.",
"A wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits.",
"He knows so little and knows it so fluently.",
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.",
"He never chooses an opinion; he just wears whatever happens to be in style.",
"He never said a foolish thing nor never did a wise one.",
"He not only overflowed with learning, but stood in the slop.",
"He used statistics the way a drunkard uses lampposts - for support, not illumination.",
"He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea and that was wrong.",
"His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.",
"His ignorance is encyclopaedic.",
"His mind is so open - so open that ideas simply pass through it.",
"His mind is so open that the wind whistles through it.",
"I want to reach your mind - where is it currently located?",
"I wish I'd known you when you were alive.",
"If he ever had a bright idea it would be beginner's luck.",
"Little things affect little minds.",
"No more sense of direction than a bunch of firecrackers.",
"Sharp as a sack full of wet mice.",
"He is a water bug on the surface of life.",
"He's descended from a long line his mother listened to.",
"Stay with me; I want to be alone.",
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.",
"Useless as a pulled tooth.",
"What has a tiny brain, a big mouth, and an opinion nobody cares about? You!",
"What's on your mind? If you'll forgive the overstatement.",
"When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?",
"While he was not dumber than an ox he was not any smarter either.",
"You look into his eyes, and you get the feeling someone else is driving.",
"You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.",
"A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.",
"A great many people now reading and writing would be better employed keeping rabbits.",
"A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity.",
"An editor should have a pimp for a brother so he'd have someone to look up to.",
"Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.",
"I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.",
"Jazz: Music invented for the torture of imbeciles.",
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.",
"The fact that a man is a newspaper reporter is evidence of some flaw of character.",
"Writers are interesting people, but often mean and petty.",
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.",
"His teeth are so yellow I cant believe its not butter.",
"Someday we'll look back on this and laugh nervously.",
"He has the right to be ugly, but he abuses the privilege!",
"Thank you, we're all challenged by your unique point of view.",
"I'm not being rude, you're just insignificant.",
"Hold still, I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.",
"Tell me, as an outsider, what do you think of the human race?",
"Hi, I'm earth, have we met?",
"Your so old, you fart dust.",
"You are no longer beneath my contempt.",
"A rejection letter from MENSA wouldn't be to much of a surprise for you now, would it?",
"No, a polygon is not a dead parrot.",
"Were you just visiting this planet",
"I see that you set this time aside to humiliate yourself",
"I'll try being nicer, if you try being smarter",
"Too bad the closest you'll ever come to a brain storm is a light drizzle.",
"I would have done the same thing for someone I liked",
"He isn't the sharpest crayons in the box.",
"His incompetence is an inspiration to morons everywhere.",
"Nice face...want a gun?",
"Is there no beginning to your good taste?",
"Stupidity should be painful - want an aspirin?",
"If I throw a stick, will you go away?",
"I would never enter into a battle of wits with an unarmed person.",
"Thou grizzled fly-bitten snipe.",
"He fell out of the Stupid Tree and hit every branch on the way down.",
"I would like to insult you but with your intelligence you wouldn't get offended.",
"If I killed all the people that hated you it wouldn't be murder it would be genocide.",
"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?",
"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.",
"Go stand in the corner, practice falling over and I'll be there in a second")