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Grumpier Old Men

"I don't believe it !" - Victor M.
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 8:26 pm 
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Joined: Sun Dec 26, 2004
Posts: 3313
Location: At the cutting edge of cocking about
In the great days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel.

After welcoming his replacement and showing the usual courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches, etc) that protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said, "You must meet my Adjutant, Captain Smithers, my right-hand man, indispensible, he's really the backbone of The Regiment. His talent is simply boundless."

Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was surprised to meet a humpbacked, one eyed, toothless, hairless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity. A particularly unattractive man less than three feet tall. "Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself."

"Well, sir, I was awarded both the Sword of Honour and the Queen's Medal at Sandhurst, joined the Regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines. I've represented Great Britain in equestrian events, and won a Gold Medal in the middleweight division at the Olympics. I have researched the history of..."

Here the colonel interrupted, "Yes, yes, never mind all that, Smithers, he can find all that in your file. Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to f*** off."

_________________
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

A woman doesn't want a man's opinion, they just want to hear their own opinion repeated back to them in a deeper voice.


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